For the last 7 months I’ve been on a diet. The will to diet was powered by self-loathing, while the act of dieting was made flesh by the purchase of a weighing scales. My smart weighing scales were a key part of my diet plan. I would weigh myself every day to avoid the self-delusion that had become a customary part of my make-up.
Avoidance is a fellow traveller with self-delusion, and I had avoided any dealings with the concept of BMI, body mass index, for my 53 plus years. My smart scales, once hooked up to the inevitable app, provided measures for my weight and BMI, plus other indicators such as visceral fat and BMR which I largely ignore.
I started with a BMI of 36.3 derived from my 1.82m height and 120.3 kg weight. Four days ago, I weighed 95.7kg with a BMI of 28.8. That’s 211pounds. My next micro target is to get below 210 pounds. My next micro target is also to get below 15 stones. 97.5kg is just under 15stones and 1 pound. Getting to 95kg will mean that I have lost 4 stone.
At almost every juncture on this weight loss journey I’ve had some near target to aim for in kilos, pounds, stones or BMI. Not too long ago getting my BMI below the obesity level, 30, was my goal
COVID 19 has been haunting the population for 3 months now, and it’s been known for most of that time that obesity makes the outcomes from COVID worse. Obesity is described as a comorbidity in COVID discussions, a medical term to describe a second disease that afflicts the patient alongside the primary disease. Obesity makes the outcomes from COVID infections much worse.
Having studiously in an offhand way avoided knowledge of my BMI for decades, when confronted with it, and my obesity, I was affronted. Being of a part of the troublesome obesity cohort was shameful. I wish it wasn’t, I wish I was more mature and in tune with who I was, but it was and I wasn’t. My app indicates that a BMI of below 22 is normal. That will never happen.
My aim is to put enough kilos between me and obese that I can falter for a short period and still be under that accusing number. A BMI of 27, roughly 89 kilos, is my target. That would put my under 200 pounds. Very cool! And just at 14 stone…also pretty cool.
Food is an addiction as I clearly use it for emotional needs beyond nourishment. Accordingly, I will have to weigh myself daily for the rest of my life, or until I stop caring about this shit.
Meanwhile, I will continue to fight my daily battles with pounds, kilos and stones. The last couple of days my weight edged up to 97kgs. In response, I will clamp down for the next couple of days, to try to get under 95kg.
Alongside the eating less, weighing myself everyday, and being a little like Jennifer Anniston by not eating after 8pm, I have been engaged in the physical exercises of walking and jogging. This too is a thicket of targets…minutes per mile walking and running; minutes per km walking and running, distance travelled in 20 minutes, time taken to walk the forest path segment…no surprise, I have an app for that.
Today I ran a PB, a personal best. I have never used that expression before. As my jogging times improve, I start to take on the affectations of the mildly serious runner.
Today, a Sunday, there were many people out on the river path. I happened upon a group of runners as they were about to set off. I joined at the tail of their group, and driven on by their pace, I ran 3.9km in 20 minutes. At that pace, it took 8 min 15 sec to run a mile. Last week I was struggling to run a mile in 9 mins 30 secs.
On the way back, I power walked, trying to hit a sub 14min/mile pace. I overtook two fit looking lads who were enjoying a stroll. ‘You’re making a show of us’, one of them said. ‘A coffee is what I need’, I replied.
Much closer to the walk’s end I ran into a woman I meet frequently walking her dog, Patch. ‘The heat’s fierce’, she said. ‘Very humid’, she added. ‘It’s very close’, I concurred and power walked on.
Within 50 metres, a man met me with a smiling face and an open faced eagerness to engage the likes you get from Mormon missionaries and that sort. ‘Jeez, there’s some crowd out today’, he said. I had no answer in the moment and had no intention of stopping. So I went on and too late half-shouted back, ‘Tis like Central park’. Not my best work.